I’m standing in the field
trying to figure out if there was a difference
for my older brother, the first time he cut himself,
between his body as the beginning
of a long, drawn out, war and his body as the end-
a street full of ticker tape and dancing. The moon
is wearing a white kimono that covers most of her
legs. I always knew she was Japanese! I will have to stand here
a long time if I want to learn something, if I want to
transform myself into some kind of superhero for the living,
someone that wears a cape
and fights crime, cures cancer, makes
you feel like you’ve been bathing in blowjobs and mescaline.
I want, I want, I need! I want the ground
my brother is buried in
to be the field that I am standing on. So we can be together.
So I can bend down
and put my face into the grass. So that
when the wind picks up like Halloween
he’ll hear my saying to him did you feel that? Wasn’t that spooky?
Copyright 2012, Matthew Dickman. Published by W.W. Norton and Company, Inc.